Scars

16Oct11

Scars are good.

We should never try to erase our scars.

When you are dead, the body does not heal.

Scar tissue means you survived.


Fragments

12Jun11

Wordless
When you are far away and distant
Words are all you have.
Sometimes we don’t know what we have to lose
Because we never really had it.

It’s just this:
Somehow instant communication
Magnifies the loneliness.

I am a horrible poet
But I keep trying…
Are these fragments really poems?
What is art?
I want to blast it to hell.

Did you want more from me?
What was I supposed to say?
I should have shut up.

Would you show a starving man
a picture of food?
You fool, how did you think
you were helping yourself
by reading these things?

Final thoughts
Divine Power is supreme
I fought the Law and the Law won
Nobody is able to understand.

I’m really done here
Nothing more to say
Detached indifference
It’s another step to freedom.


Long Shadows

05Mar11

Early Winter is approaching

The air announces late Autumn

In mid-afternoon shadows tend

To grow long on the ground

Leaves swirl in the wind

But most yet cling to branch

I feel it growing in me yet

Still a long way before frost

Coming cold hard ground and

Grass withering dormant

The clouds huddled in the sky

Greedily keeping all the sunrays

So I had lost my shadow but

Now the brilliant sun is beaming

The temperature pleasant

The breeze still refreshes

Because of the goddess

She fought away the clouds

Singlehandedly, of sheer will

So I come to realize that

It’s not the time of day

It’s not the season either

It’s the one who brushes aside the clouds

That I live to see


Constraints

Are never things I used to think about

Now they haunt me more and more

I suppose as a baby

I cried and cried to get out of my crib

Somebody come change this dirty diaper now

Feed me

But since then

Even though I had many constraints

Most psychological

I never thought much of them explicitly

And the idea of physical constraints never entered my mind

I was young, strong

Lately

Just the thought of inability

Causes anxiety

Being bound

I want to know

I want to see

I want to fly

I cannot?

Give me a pill

Something

I can’t breathe

Why does growing older

Result in anxiety

And as I give up dreams

Hopes, plans

Abilities

What

For eternity I will lie in a box

Unable to move, think

But I won’t have this anxiety

I should accept it

And stay home


Disappointed

21Feb11

I need to wean myself off that

It’s difficult

Disappointment

Comes round like a train winding the bend

Steady, constant

Loud but silent

Then the whistle blows

And I realize

Disappointed

Family, spouse, siblings, parents, children

Dead and living

Friends

Are they?

Life

But I had found a crutch

It might not be helping

I suppose lose myself in work or…

Go where I want and hopefully

The disappointment

Will fade away

Leaving only a puff of smoke

On the distant horizon


The Fall

12Feb11

Freedom
Locomotion and a coat’s warmth
in the cold
Short sunshine
Grinning, glib cruel, guilt
Karma begs attention
look over shoulder feet
betray body as Tribology batters
Flailing against
Force of attraction
Bone snaps in two tissues tear
Dead still, frozen
Faces of sympathy
parade by as the brass sucks up
Intense pain means life
Drugs waiting
Freedom diminished
Cling to that sanity


Isolation

16Jan10

Caterpillar slowly forces its way through late autumn’s chill

A single rock in a silent quarry pile lies in stony darkness still

Chill overtakes cold ground; envelops love for me like frost

I seek to connect with ease as others but it is a faculty lost

As the masses join, warmly touching, oozing light and smiles

I stand apart, at a distance, watching unseen as a lost child

How can they peel their feelings and devour each other’s intent?

If I join that crowd I remain alone, and afterwards I’m spent

From a distance I see only shadows, hear the soft liquid murmur

The occasional laugh, the gleeful outbursts; it’s a meaningless blur

I don’t want to hide, I tried to join but still I remain cool, hidden

To me company is a thing imposed, and somehow oft forbidden